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Georgia PTA Dad's Initiative Chair Charles Lawhon with George Woods
and
Brian Davis in Houston, TX at a All Pro Dad's event. This
was Charles 2nd
All Pro Dad Event.
www.allprodad.com
Children
that are raised with involved, responsible and committed fathers
do better in school, life and in work. The Dad's Initiative program
works to educate and encourage dads across the state of Georgia
to be the best dads they can be!
Dads
make a tremendous difference in the lives of their children!
Some
dads communicate high expectations, and their children struggle
to feel accepted and appreciated because nothing ever quite measures
up.
These dads might inadvertently communicate that their love is conditional:
"If you keep practicing, maybe next year you'll win first place."
They may actually be proud of their children, but they can't express
it positively. Somehow, a simple compliment isn't enough. They feel
a need always to add a point of instruction. "That was great,
son, but next time do this or that." Their children learn that
love has strings attached.
Still,
expectations can motivate children to reach high achievements. Dad,
here are five suggestions for using expectations in a positive way:
First, list the expectations you have for your children in areas
like school, sports, behavior, and so on. As objectively as you
can, look at each one and ask, "Is this expectation realistic?
Is it too easy or too difficult?" Then ask this tough question:
"Does my child feel like he has to excel to earn my love?"
Second, dad, communicate your expectations positively. Instead of
relaying the message, "You must do this ...," give your
child lots of "You can do this" messages.
Third, be aware of your children's strengths, weaknesses, interests
and dreams. One of the great dangers of fathering is molding your
children into your own image instead of helping them discover who
they have been created to be. But a healthy awareness of your children
will help you avoid that common fathering mistake.
Fourth, be a reliable model. When you demonstrate the behavior that
you expect from your children, the limits and expectations you place
on them make more sense. They know that, when you lay out certain
rules for them to follow, you also live by that standard.
Finally, love your child no matter what. A child who's appreciated
and accepted for who he is -- regardless of his performance -- won't
feel pressure, but freedom. He'll have the self-esteem and confidence
to excel.
Georgia
PTA Dad's Initiative Goals:
- Educate
- Fathers, public, social services agencies and professionals
- Empower
- Fathers to be involved, committed and responsible
- Encourage
- Father-child relationships, cooperative parenting and equality
- Eliminate
- Father's absence in children's lives and bias towards fathers
- Expand
- Reach out to Fathers in need (low income, minority, incarcerated,
isolated) and help father-child interactions/relationships
- Enrich
a man's experience as a Dad
and the lives of children
SEVEN
THINGS FATHERS NEED TO KNOW
by
Charles Lawhon, Georgia PTA Dad's Initiative Chair
In
his book, She Calls Me Daddy, Robert Wolgemoth addresses
seven key areas of fatherhood specifically relating to fathers and
daughters:
-
Protection
- Conversation
- Affection
- Discipline
- Laughter
- Faith
- Conduct.
Wolgemoth
stresses the importance of a father PROTECTING
his daughter--both from physical harm and from emotional harm. His
role is to help his daughter learn independence one step at a time
under his watchful care. A father should also engage in meaningful
CONVERSATION with his daughter: spend time with
her,take her on erands,ask her questions, teach her how to hold
a conversation.
Fathers
also need to show their daughters AFFECTION, whether
its physical or spoken. DISCIPLINE should be fair
and swift, and consistently enforced. But fathers should also engage
in LAUGHTER with their daughters, taking the time
to tell stories, play games and just enjoy each other's company.
Fathers
should also install their FAITH in their daughters through teaching
and talking about their beliefs. And while every father should also
help his daughter in good CONDUCT and making wise
choices, Wolgemoth explains that this should be done with the foundation
of the other six areas.
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